Having a random hookup so left but love u
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
