Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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