you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
