Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
