I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
