the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
