Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
