holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
These tits shall not be calmed
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