what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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