I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
