this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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