Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
