i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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