i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize