she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize