just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
