party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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