Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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