That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
