The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
