Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
