paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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