If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Drunk is a universal language darling
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
