I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Floor bacon is actually really good
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
