Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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