i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I supernannyed him into submission
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
