his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
