That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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