I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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