Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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