We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
