Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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