We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
