How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize