so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
