ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
