i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
