He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We are all done wearing pants today
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
