i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
