Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
