and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
