Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
