i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
