This girl is more easily done than said...
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
