Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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