The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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