biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Come see our sink grown plant.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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