You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i think i just lost a toe
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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