Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
