just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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