i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So many bounce houses so little time
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
don't judge my taste in strippers
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
