My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize