you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Randomize
