I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
