You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize