i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
