How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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