Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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