Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
