he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
