Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
