How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
