His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
