Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
